These Shoes Don't Fit
So I did an essay contest for the magazine "Real Simple" at the end of last year. The topic for the essay was, "I never thought I would be..." and fill in the blank with 1500 words. The results came in AND... I didn't win. But that's okay, I was up against 7,300 other essays. And the winner is... a writer! Okay, a playwright, she writes plays, not essays. The runner up? A writer too! Well, an aspiring writer. But you know what? Good for them, and I mean it too. Got to show my kids that I'm a good sport and if I want to throw a tantrum, I'll do it later in my closet! : )
BUT, I know YOU would choose my essay, as it is, shall we say, an extreme version of my start to homeschool and all my unique preconceived ideas of what homeschool ought to be. Enjoy! TM : )
A deep baritone voice sloooowly speaking like a
45 record on a 33 setting came out of the man standing in front of me (who
happened to be my husband): “Of course we’re going to homeschool Honey!” We?! Did he just say we?
I think he meant me! Oh,
I’m sorry, you have me mistaken for an Amish woman baking bread with the wheat
that I grew and turned into flour!
Homeschool? No! You see, I buy my bread from the store
and my children are going to school every morning. I am going to have a perfect life and drink bottled water
and not get old. And besides, how
do you do that anyway? Is it
legal? I heard those homeschooler
people eat only raw food that they grow in their organic gardens and wear
Birkenstocks with those socks with all the toes individually covered that they
knit for themselves with wool from the sheep that they raise in their living
rooms. I can’t raise sheep, or do
any of this stuff, so how could I ever homeschool?
If I was going to do this, I would need to find out everything I could about this alternative way of educating my child. Technology was not my strength. I barely even knew what the internet was. Hey, maybe I was more Amish than I thought! Out came the phone book. No luck. I found out immediately that what I was looking for was like looking for the perfect pair of shoes to go with my new Amish outfit. It was just not there. (Crocs anyone?)
Homeschool is not something you find in the yellow pages. I grabbed the rotary phone, ha, just kidding it was a push button, but I had you going. I tried my luck at “dialing for homeschool.” After many phone calls of asking the wrong people the wrong questions about sheep and bread, I actually got a lead from the wrong person on the right person that I could talk to about this “unknown” form of education. I made my appointment not knowing what the outcome might be, or if I would still be willing to wear clogs by the time this meeting was over.
I heard my clogs clacking down the hallway as I made my way to her office. All my senses were alive as I strained my nose to smell any sign of Patchouli oil or incense. There was none. Just outside the door, I imagined a cluttered office, papers everywhere and a small, hippie shrine in one corner. I imagined I would be greeted by an angry, heavy set, school marm in a friar tuck robe. Quite to the contrary, once inside the door to the office, I was met with a warm smile and a kind handshake. All the books were in order and the desk was perfectly organized. No hippie shrine and not even one sheep.
There sitting before me is the person that I will affectionately call, the human homeschool Rosetta Stone. Throughout the meeting, Ms. Stone magically unveiled the mysteries of homeschool before my eyes. She gave me the tools and the confidence to go home and get started on my new adventure.
“Honey! I’m gong to do this and we don’t even have to own sheep!” With my husband by my side, I started homeschooling my son within a month of that first conversation.
This is not the part where the sun sets across the horizon for a fairy tale ending. This was just the beginning of a new lifestyle for myself and my family. And a lifestyle it is. No, not one filled with sheep and horse drawn buggies, but one of sheer determination and higher education. With my new baby in my arms and my son by my leg, I was determined to succeed at this homeschooling thing on my own while my husband’s work took him around the world. Yea!... Not! It took many adjustments, boxes of hair color and a great deal of patience to make sense out of what my new role was. The lines of Mother and Teacher were quite blurred at first, and sometimes I would forget which role I was playing.
The days were moving along quickly and I was too. Learning how to be a ‘teacher’ means going through workbooks and doing paperwork for and with a 5 year old. It was not my idea of fun. Not fun for him or me. With all this non-fun going through our household, my own childhood memories of school resurfaced. Thoughts of sitting at a desk for hours on end listening to the teacher, blah, blah, blah, was not my idea of a memorable experience; yet somehow I can remember it like it was yesterday. Funny how that is! Do you remember sitting in class staring at your French teacher’s sweating armpits and realizing they were the most interesting thing going on in the classroom? Substitute “sweating armpits” for whatever you remember and you get my point. I can’t even remember her name anymore, I just remember her armpits...good grief!
This homeschool thing that started with so much zest was now starting to leave a sour taste in my mouth. Then it came to me; why oh why am I thinking that I have to teach like a traditional school teacher and why am I wearing this frock? With a quick check of my armpits I kicked off my clogs, and a new me was born! Why do I want to teach like them? Did I learn anything when the teacher was so boring? What about my favorite teachers? I had two and I still remember their names. How did they reach me and what did I like about them? The answer is simple; they were fun. In all my K-12 years, I had a whopping two teachers who made a difference in my life and all because they made learning fun.
With my new understanding of what teaching ought to be instead of what has been in my past I began my homeschool teaching career over again from scratch. I teach outdoors on sunny days and indoors when it rains. We try and start at 8:30 but if we miss we don’t get a tardy slip, unless we want one and then we call it a writing assignment. This is homeschool and I am allowed to think outside of the box. I can teach as creatively as I want and I can teach what is of interest to my son. Together we can make this thing we call education, fun. And isn’t that what it is all about?
Homeschool allows us the freedom to choose the subjects we want to study. With that freedom comes focus and focus is the building block of greatness. Homeschool is an ever-changing, creative learning process that can match your goals for your child’s education perfectly. I think I’m learning. I know my son is learning. Learning should be fun, though I never thought it would be. Today I am a proud Homeschool Mom for both of my children and I am active in the homeschool community coaching other homeschool parents and first time homeschool families. I wish I had had me to call when I first started out, but at least now others have me. Who would have thunk it!
If I was going to do this, I would need to find out everything I could about this alternative way of educating my child. Technology was not my strength. I barely even knew what the internet was. Hey, maybe I was more Amish than I thought! Out came the phone book. No luck. I found out immediately that what I was looking for was like looking for the perfect pair of shoes to go with my new Amish outfit. It was just not there. (Crocs anyone?)
Homeschool is not something you find in the yellow pages. I grabbed the rotary phone, ha, just kidding it was a push button, but I had you going. I tried my luck at “dialing for homeschool.” After many phone calls of asking the wrong people the wrong questions about sheep and bread, I actually got a lead from the wrong person on the right person that I could talk to about this “unknown” form of education. I made my appointment not knowing what the outcome might be, or if I would still be willing to wear clogs by the time this meeting was over.
I heard my clogs clacking down the hallway as I made my way to her office. All my senses were alive as I strained my nose to smell any sign of Patchouli oil or incense. There was none. Just outside the door, I imagined a cluttered office, papers everywhere and a small, hippie shrine in one corner. I imagined I would be greeted by an angry, heavy set, school marm in a friar tuck robe. Quite to the contrary, once inside the door to the office, I was met with a warm smile and a kind handshake. All the books were in order and the desk was perfectly organized. No hippie shrine and not even one sheep.
There sitting before me is the person that I will affectionately call, the human homeschool Rosetta Stone. Throughout the meeting, Ms. Stone magically unveiled the mysteries of homeschool before my eyes. She gave me the tools and the confidence to go home and get started on my new adventure.
“Honey! I’m gong to do this and we don’t even have to own sheep!” With my husband by my side, I started homeschooling my son within a month of that first conversation.
This is not the part where the sun sets across the horizon for a fairy tale ending. This was just the beginning of a new lifestyle for myself and my family. And a lifestyle it is. No, not one filled with sheep and horse drawn buggies, but one of sheer determination and higher education. With my new baby in my arms and my son by my leg, I was determined to succeed at this homeschooling thing on my own while my husband’s work took him around the world. Yea!... Not! It took many adjustments, boxes of hair color and a great deal of patience to make sense out of what my new role was. The lines of Mother and Teacher were quite blurred at first, and sometimes I would forget which role I was playing.
The days were moving along quickly and I was too. Learning how to be a ‘teacher’ means going through workbooks and doing paperwork for and with a 5 year old. It was not my idea of fun. Not fun for him or me. With all this non-fun going through our household, my own childhood memories of school resurfaced. Thoughts of sitting at a desk for hours on end listening to the teacher, blah, blah, blah, was not my idea of a memorable experience; yet somehow I can remember it like it was yesterday. Funny how that is! Do you remember sitting in class staring at your French teacher’s sweating armpits and realizing they were the most interesting thing going on in the classroom? Substitute “sweating armpits” for whatever you remember and you get my point. I can’t even remember her name anymore, I just remember her armpits...good grief!
This homeschool thing that started with so much zest was now starting to leave a sour taste in my mouth. Then it came to me; why oh why am I thinking that I have to teach like a traditional school teacher and why am I wearing this frock? With a quick check of my armpits I kicked off my clogs, and a new me was born! Why do I want to teach like them? Did I learn anything when the teacher was so boring? What about my favorite teachers? I had two and I still remember their names. How did they reach me and what did I like about them? The answer is simple; they were fun. In all my K-12 years, I had a whopping two teachers who made a difference in my life and all because they made learning fun.
With my new understanding of what teaching ought to be instead of what has been in my past I began my homeschool teaching career over again from scratch. I teach outdoors on sunny days and indoors when it rains. We try and start at 8:30 but if we miss we don’t get a tardy slip, unless we want one and then we call it a writing assignment. This is homeschool and I am allowed to think outside of the box. I can teach as creatively as I want and I can teach what is of interest to my son. Together we can make this thing we call education, fun. And isn’t that what it is all about?
Homeschool allows us the freedom to choose the subjects we want to study. With that freedom comes focus and focus is the building block of greatness. Homeschool is an ever-changing, creative learning process that can match your goals for your child’s education perfectly. I think I’m learning. I know my son is learning. Learning should be fun, though I never thought it would be. Today I am a proud Homeschool Mom for both of my children and I am active in the homeschool community coaching other homeschool parents and first time homeschool families. I wish I had had me to call when I first started out, but at least now others have me. Who would have thunk it!